Do you ever get the feeling that life is just going to fast, that you spend so much time with your head down getting on with things that you forget to occasionally glance to the future.  As I look now, I notice that I am quickly approaching 40 and wondering, am I there, that place I wanted to be when I was 40?  Does that place actually exist? Is it the same place as before or have I changed it?  It must have been real and I must have had an idea, but I think my laid back approach to life may be getting the better of me.  Life does feel like it’s speeding up.

Time is like the water in a fast flowing river, time rushes through but as it passes it reshapes the environment never to be the same again, and as time goes on, the place I wanted to be at has changed also, no massive shifts just changes, one grain at a time.  But those grains add up.

I know that this must happen to most of us, but my worry is, if everyone’s places are always changing and being remapped then how do you make sure the places you wanted to end up in match with the people you share your life with.  I guess you don’t.  Just try and come to terms with the differences and hope that it works out.

I think far too much emphasis is put on HOPE.

Wishing for the best!  I’m not sure that I can get on-board with that any more.  I know that I need to take control of the river and shape the future to what I want now, no more sitting back and seeing what happens I want to be pro-active, then if it goes wrong the fault is mine, mine alone, I don’t want to be in a position where I try and blame my hope for things gone wrong or the actions I didn’t take.

I think I may be suffering with a bit of Friday afternoon paranoia.  It comes over me in waves sometimes as if there is something telling me that life is short so get your arse in gear if you ever want to reach your place.

Keep fighting, I read a great quote this week;

So far you have survived 100% of your toughest days, this too will pass.

Love ya