I never asked or wanted to be made redundant, who does?  But when it comes, it’s a huge shock to the system, I never realised how much I took work for granted, it was always a constant in my life and I assumed it would stay that way.  That being said I always thought I would be fine, as I am quite emotionally strong and resilient.  I’ve been through tough times before, why would this be any different?

The fact of the matter is though, it is different.  It is rejection on a massive scale.  It has the ability to make you feel worthless and unwanted.  It’s been an up and down journey so far since my last day in October (hence the lack of bloggage).

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And I’m not out of the woods yet, it’s still difficult and there are good days and bad, although most of the bad days are now money related.   Iv’e mentioned it before but the biggest impact on me has been the loss of the social element of work.  Having nice people around you that know you, your history and things that are going on in your life.  That’s been really tough to come to terms with.  There have been days where I have dropped the wife off at the train station, got the kids to nursery and school all before 9am and the next time I speak to another person is 3.30pm when I pick the kids up.  It can be really lonely and isolating.

Iv’e heard all the advice about exercise, keeping busy , getting involved, putting yourself out there etc.  But the reality is there aren’t that many opportunities to do them (i could just be looking in totally the wrong place though).  It’s probably the old fashioned geezer in me but I also feel a terrible pressure to provide for the family, I guess this is part and parcel of being a parent though.

One of the most bizarre things is that you lose motivation.  I assumed I would be constantly looking for work, cleaning the house, doing DIY and washing clothes to keep busy, instead I get up do a quick job search watch tv or play games.  Sometimes I can’t even be bothered making lunch, what’s the point.

But there is a point and it’s hard to find.  Luckily I managed to get a bit of work helping out a local community interest organisation doing some youth work.  It’s okay money and I would love to work there full time, but with all these things that would rely on funding, and as local authorities are still cutting services there are a lot more smaller companies being set up and competing for that money (sad face).    I digress though.    The point is this,  doing something, even a little bit lifts your spirit and gives you hope.  This is now where I am living, in hope.   Still plucking away, still applying, still getting rejected ha ha but never giving up.

Hope you guys are okay out there and if you are going through something similar please comment below.  It’s good to talk about it.

Tough times don’t last, tough people do.

See you next time.

 

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